Someone else is fighting a battle you know nothing about......
Have you ever walked in someone's else's shoes? The answer is simply no.
My life has become nothing that I ever expected and some things that I never wanted. But I can't control the things that have happened or that will happen. I am only in charge of how I react to them.
I had four children, to watch them grow up. To see them become adults and have families of their own.
I got married to grow old with that person. To be true to my vows as long as we both shall live.
But that wasn't my journey.
I couldn't save my son, as much as I tried with all of my being.
I couldn't save my marriage when vows were broken. I tried with all of my heart and soul.
But that wasn't meant to bee. The only choice I have is how I move forward. How to make some devastating, heartbreaking. life altering changes, into something better. If I stop and think of all my loss and all that has happened it is paralyzing. If you had any idea of ALL that I have been through, I am pretty sure, it would paralyze you too.
I choose to move forward. To try to be the best example I can for my boys. I am not perfect, I make mistakes. I choose to keep Devin's spirit alive in everything I do. I choose to help others in sharing my journey, the good and the bad.
I've always tried to teach my boys not to judge others. That they don't know everything that is going on in someone else's life. No matter how much they think they might.
I gave up my career when my third son was born. I quickly had four boys in five and a half years and a husband who was traveling a lot. If you ever took time off, you know how hard it is go get back into your industry or career. I took ten years away from the career that I had been building. It was was a decision that we made, one that I don't regret for a second.
After Devin died, and my marriage quickly unravelled, I knew that I needed to become financially independent to take care of myself and my boys. Quite honestly, I needed to find myself. I didn't know how to be a grieving mom, or a single mom. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do and going back to my career wasn't realistic, it was many life times ago. So much has happened and my path seemed to be moving in a different direction. I am bringing my past, personally and professionally, with me to my future.
Fortunately, I had started speaking publicly and have some pretty supportive people willing to help me in the next part of my journey. I am grateful to be able to share Devin's story, spread awareness for a disease that rocked me to the core that still has no cure or funding, and share some of what I've been through and where I am going, in hopes of helping someone else.
Having people come up to me and tell me that I helped them with whatever it is that they are going through, or thank me for sharing my story, has helped me too. It's definitely a cathartic part of the process and helps me to keep going and sharing.
But.... I guess because I've been public, some people feel that they have the right to judge me and what I am doing. Which hurts me to the core. If you have felt the need to do this, please send me a message and tell me why, share some constructive feedback. Unless you have walked in my shoes, I promise you haven't, you don't have the right to judge me.
Unless, you have lost a child and had a very tough marriage, with lots of secrets, please don't judge me or what I am doing. If you have had any or all of those things, it still doesn't give you the right to judge, no two people have the same journey.
This is my way of choosing to move forward. I am learning every day to navigate these very unchartered waters.
The next time you want to judge someone, please take a deep breath first. Bee kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. The world would be a much better place if we learned how to support each other and lift one other up, instead of tear each other down.