Single moms- I see you
Long before I was actually a single mom, I considered myself one. My then husband travelled a lot and I handled 98.5% of kid duties. Life was chaotic with four boys under six. It was crazy, and it was hard, but I loved every second of it. Mostly.
Then I got divorced.
I found out that being a single mom was much harder than I ever imagined. I am single mom of three boys who have been through horrible trauma and who have witnessed a pretty bad divorce. I am single mom, who owns our home, and am trying to become successful on my own and figure out who I am for the first time in my adult life. I am a single mom who is trying to make sure my boys recover from loss, while trying to heal my own broken heart.
I am a single mom who worries about school (three different schools), homework, friends, girls, choices, permissions slips, therapy, sports, laundry, smelly uniforms, "the talk", boy stuff, snapchat, social events, the list goes on and on. All things that I worried about before but now I don't have back up. I don't have someone to bounce things off of, to ask for opinions, to talk my off a ledge or to take over. I don't get a break. Until they are gone, for days at a time, with their dad.
Not many people plan to be a single parent. I certainly didn't. I always thought it would be a tag team effort. But that's not what happened. It's ok. But at times it's really hard. Sometimes, as precious as I know life is, and how lucky I know I am with my three little men, I lose it. I yell, and then feel horribly guilty for it. Or I hide in a bath because I can't take the fighting and am tired of being the only referee. I miss out on things because they are doing it with their dad and it breaks my heart. At times, I feel like I am failing at motherhood, but then someone tells me something great about one of my kids, and I think, ok, maybe I'm not doing so bad.
Sometimes you just need validation, someone to back you up, to tell you that you are doing a great job.
If you are a single mom, I see you. I see your sacrifices and your joys. I see your struggles and your wins. I see your heartbreak and how much love you have to give.
I admire you. You are doing a great job. If you remember to hug your kids at the end of the day (when you have them), you are awesome. You are doing the best you can, and I applaud you. Keep on keeping on. One step at a time. You've got this strong, beautiful, single mama.